Attachment Theory and Polyamory

2 min readSep 29, 2020

Jessica Fern and attachment theory

This week we’re joined with Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist, public speaker, and trauma and relationship expert with a private practice where she helps individuals, couples, and members of polyamorous relationships who want to move past the limitations from reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment styles, and past trauma in order to help them reach new possibilities in both life and love.

Her upcoming book, due to be published in October 23, 2020, is titled Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Non-monogamy, and so throughout this episode Jessica discusses the intersection of polyamory and attachment theories and the following topics:

  • The traditional attachment theory model and what it might leave out regarding polyamory and polyamorous relationships.
  • Are there pitfalls in the ways that we might use attachment theory to understand our relationships?
  • How does trauma intersect with this?
  • How do you find securely attached people?
  • Recommendations for people growing towards a secure attachment style.
  • Tips on connecting for more avoidant attached people.
  • Can you feel secure attachment if there’s only one point of secure attachment?

Visit Jessica’s website at or email her at to learn more about her and her practice, and don’t forget to check out her book when it comes out on October 23rd!




We offer new ideas and advice for multiple forms of #love: everything from #conciousmonogamy to #ethical #Polyamory and radical #relationshipanarchy.