302 — Challenging Polyamory Concepts for Advanced Students

Critical review of polyamorous ideals

  1. “Insecurities or concerns about a newly polyamorous partner are your own problem.” This topic often comes up when someone who might be newer to polyamory asks a discussion forum for help. Consider:
  • What if it actually is their partner being bad?
  • What if they’re not comfortable with their partner or don’t feel enthusiastic about polyamory?
  • Comparing yourself to a metamour in order to improve yourself isn’t a bad thing.
  • Feeling jealous can help you realize that something is missing in your life and figure out what it is.
  • Comparing partners to each other can help you see if you’re being treated the way you deserve.
  • While interesting, evolutionary psychology is full of guesses and assumptions. It shouldn’t always be taken as the end all be all.
  • Just because something is natural doesn’t mean it’s good.
  • Similarly, just because something is a new phenomenon doesn’t mean it’s bad.
  • Lots of people struggle to make all their relationships equal, novices and experienced polyamorous people alike. Such a thing is not only impractical, but also often undesirable.
  • We don’t spend equal energy on all friends and family members, so doing so for all romantic partners isn’t feasible either.
  • Trying to pretend all relationships are equal may lead to “sneakiarchy,” or may misrepresent ourselves to new partners, even if that’s not our intention.
  • Separating areas of your lives keeps you interested in each other and gives you something to talk about with each other.
  • Respecting your partners’ privacy is vital and some people aren’t comfortable with having certain areas of their lives shared with others.

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We offer new ideas and advice for multiple forms of #love: everything from #conciousmonogamy to #ethical #Polyamory and radical #relationshipanarchy.

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Multiamory

We offer new ideas and advice for multiple forms of #love: everything from #conciousmonogamy to #ethical #Polyamory and radical #relationshipanarchy.